Tearing you a new one

We are exploring the nature of torture this week and its many purposes and types within BDSM. There is a connection often drawn between punishment and torture that intrigues me, partly because i enjoy torture in a very primal sense, to suffer for Her would bring me pleasure if it did for Her as well. […]

Why we hide in the shadows

Labels are something i despise, even though i freely proclaim that words only power if you let them, they hold even more power if you try to hide them. Afraid of being treated differently, in ways beyond our control, we try to influence our outward image so others will encourage our strengths instead of exploiting […]

Twisted. Sister!

Sometimes the things we see as strange or over the top in others are the things we could learn the most from.  I am someone who struggles to speak in front of others, i search for the right words, i wonder if my meaning is clear. Those who blab on freely without thinking and say […]

Power Exchange

  In my view, power exchange is simply handing over power of an aspect, or multiple aspects, of your life to your partner for them to control. Now, with that being said, there are various ways ones can engage in a power exchange relationship, and to varying degrees. And it doesn’t necessarily mean it has to […]

Let’s get real

Say what you mean because it’s not a game. Although it may seem as though you are playing the role by communicating in the style you see as appropriate, you are truly playing a role. It is true that within power exchange, there is protocol that determines the words, the titles, and the format, but […]

Plainly speaking

Something i notice when i travel are the different ways people acknowledge each other, from greeting to gratitude, it is easy to misunderstand and make judgement based on customs alone. Mostly i would say these are pet peeves of mine, but i do notice exchanges within the community that raise a Spockian eyebrow from me […]