People who are into BDSM have more mental health issues than vanilla people…

The Myth

One common myth that you will run into as you journey down the winding stairway of the lifestyle on your way to the deep dark scary recesses of the Dungeon is that people who practice BDSM have more mental health issues than vanilla people. Come on, you have probably already heard this one and as you fumble for the light switch for safety reasons let me tell you what I have found. Take a seat on the cool damp steps and let’s talk. Comfy? Perfect, let us begin.

From an outside perspective, one fueled by porn and with very little actual knowledge of the lifestyle I can completely understand this train of thought. People being tied up or tying up others in various positions of questionable intent. Seductively holding a crop or flogger as they admire the blushing cheeks of their partner. Methodically stripping away layers of emotional protection with nipple clamps, blindfold, rope and… oh my, is that a melting candle dripping onto their… Lol, I think you get the picture. And these are only some of the more PG of the scenes. Fire, electricity, water, ice, toys of all corners of the wild imagination, needles the list goes on and on.

But let me ask you this if I may. Do you really believe that these things are done without talking about them first? Bingo! One of the most important parts of the lifestyle is the communication that goes with it! Everything is negotiated before hand and discussed thoroughly. Questions are completely answered and feelings are inspected with a microscope. Not just a little 3rd grade science microscope either but one of those fancy electronic ones. There is a purpose to everything done in BDSM. A grand goal for every scene and it doesn’t always have anything to do with an orgasm. Gasp! Yes, that isn’t always the goal.

The goal can be to develop more trust in the unquestionably strong bond that can be forged by conquering your fear of something for example such as absolute surrender of your senses. To get there first those involved need to decide exactly what they want to accomplish, in this case sensory deprivation and bondage. Wait, there is talking first you say? Absolutely there is. Once the end goal is selected, and this part is one of my favorites, there needs to be a long discussion about limits, kinks, hot buttons and triggers amongst many other factors. Why you ask? Well that’s easy my friend! By knowing the kinks (likes) of this individual human you can begin to layout the basic structure of the scene. By using their hot buttons or fetishes you are basically injecting nitrous into the flame. But if you were to cross those lines into a limit the entire scene could unravel instantly, as elusive as vapor at that point. And by slipping into a trigger there could be instant, potentially devastating, and often confusing results that would not have been known without asking those questions previously.

So now you see that before anyone gets anywhere there is a long list of musts that need to be followed. And crazily enough the only road to these priceless jewels is through communication, knowledge and even vulnerability. It’s true, you can’t hide behind a shield during these talks because it will never allow you to go any further and by openly expressing your fears and desires can true bliss be found.

I may have gotten a little carried away there with my explanation but hopefully now you see a tiny sliver of the trust, communication and transparency that comes into play here in the Dungeon. When was the last time you had a talk like that, on that level, with a partner? Yeah, I was the same. And now you may feel a little differently about this realm of wonder that you have been questioning.

Oh, speaking of questions we should get back to the original one about Mental issues in BDSM. Being able and willing to express yourself, to truly understand what makes you tick as a unique person and have a supportive environment to explore those thoughts and fears without judgement. Well according to most psychologists that is a haven that very few are lucky enough to find. And the community is everywhere! You just have to look in the right spots ? But don’t take my opinion alone as the answer to this absurd myth. Please allow me a few minutes to do what almost all of us do to investigate an unknown anymore and Google it! Browse through these sites to see what others believe and then decide for yourself if you are going to turn around and head for the door or continue the amazing decent with me.

http://www.drmichaelaaronnyc.com/study-bdsm-linked-better-mental-health/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unique-everybody-else/201307/bdsm-personality-and-mental-health%3famp

https://www.playboy.com/read/bdsm-mental-health
Yeah, I enjoy playboy for the articles too

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-health-benefits-of-bdsm-2979720